Stripping and poledancing as workouts

I was reading Feministing and there was an article about the recent craze of sexual aerobics, such as stripteases and poledancing. The author was arguing that it was degrading to women and demonstrated the internalization of the male gaze into all members of society. She quoted a girl who talked about how she liked the pole-dancing classes because it was a safe and fun environment to act out her sexuality. The author responded that if that was her idea of sexuality, then that in itself was skewed. I’m torn because I can see both sides of the argument. I was talking to some of my friends about this. One of my friends and I agreed that if it was in a safe space, and only meant for their significant other to see, it was fine. Taking pole-dancing classes does not mean that these women will go out and get a job dancing in a club, displaying their bodies for a couple of bucks and any random men that walk in the door. It simply means that they want to have fun and show off to their significant other, and I do not think there is a problem with that. Another friend asked if this would still be thought of as sexy if it weren’t for poledancers and strippers. I could see her concern, and if that was the only reason why these women’s dances were viewed as attractive, because of workers in the sex industry, then that would be problematic. But, stripping and dancing has always been something that is attractive.
The internalization of the male gaze is also an interesting argument. If these women are learning these dances in order to please their husbands, than that is definitely internalization of the gaze, but, as long as it stays between people who really love and care for each other, what exactly is wrong with that? Part of sexual relationships is pleasing your partner, even if it might not be terribly pleasing to you, simply because you want to make you partner happy. An important part of this pleasing the other is definitely reciprocity, and if one partner is the only one pleasing the other, that is definitely problematic. But, I think if a woman learns a striptease routine as part of a fitness class, and wants to show it to her husband, especially if he in turn strips for her or does something equally pleasing to her, than it is fine.
This fad can be frightening, though. A friend and I were looking at a website for one such studio, and they were talking about how a mother bought her daughter and eight of her daughters friends a poledancing class at the studio for the daughter’s Sweet Sixteen. This definitely sends the wrong messages to these girls, and it is very unlikely that they all had boyfriends. This tells the girl that poledancing is attractive and sexy and the way that they should attract boys, and also reinforces the glamorization of sex work. But, if it is educated adults making the decision to take these classes, I think it alright.
There are also women who take these classes and never show anybody what they learned, and I think that is equally harmless. I remember the first time I bought pretty bras, I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, and no one really saw them, but the knowledge that I had them made me feel prettier and more confident. I could imagine a similar phenomenon happening with women who take these classes and never show anybody. It could boost their own self-image without exploiting their body. Although, then there is the argument that if their self-image relies on their ability to swing around pole, and relies solely on their perception of their sexual appeal, that is also problematic.

Pornography

The clip that Amit showed in class from The Price of Pleasure really made me re-think my ideas about pornography. I did not attend the screening of the film, because I could barely handle the trailer that we watched, and I decided it would be too intense for me. But, I did start thinking about it. I never really thought too much about porn before, and basically had no real opinion. I think there definitely are people who could enjoy working as a porn star, and as long as they had thought about it and made an educated decision, I would not have a problem with the actual person. And then I was talking to a friend of mine, and she said she was all for porn, as long as it wasn’t too degrading or insulting to women. I agree, and I think gang-rape, violence, and inclusion of animals is going a bit too far, but then where do we draw the line? Is porn with just one man and one woman acceptable? How intense can it be before it gets too violent? What about orgies? Is it okay if it is something that people would do normally, and then unacceptable if it’s too extreme? But that’s an arbitrary distinction, because there will always be some people who are into all sorts of unusual things.
Also, as the clip mentioned, pornography is often the first and sometimes only form of sex education that children receive, and is obviously not a healthy education. But then should there only be very simple pornos so that children will not learn bad behaviors? It’s additionally difficult, because I think porn affects all people differently, and some people can definitely watch violent porn without perpetuating that same violence in their personal lives. But, in order to not be affected, I think the person would have to have a healthy and educated attitude toward sex. Often this is not the case, which is why these violent pornos can affect the viewers so radically.
There is also the issue of feminist porn, which my friend is all for. I would ultimately like to see that documentary about it, because I feel like I do not know enough about it to make a statement. But, the Lusty Lady was known as a “feminist” peep show, which does not mean that the women were treated any better or that they were showing their bodies any less. If the same is true of feminist porn, that the women are basically treated the same and perform the same tasks, then there is virtually no difference, and feminist porn is no better than any other kind of porn.

Reflection on "Arranged"

I recently watched "Arranged" for my Images of Women in the Middle East class. It is about two women, a Muslim and an orthodox Jew, both living in New York, and both facing arranged marriages. They both work as teachers, and get to know one another through their work. They have problems going to one another's houses because of their parents and family being less than happy to see either a Jew or a Muslim show up. They bond over meeting horrible prospective husbands, but in the end both end up happily married. It was interesting from a feminist perspective, because although both the main characters, Rochel and Nasira, are strong, independent, educated, working women, both end up agreeing to an arranged marriage. They both go through arguments with their parents over men they do not want to marry, and Rochel keeps saying she wants to take a break from looking at men, but neither of them flat-out refuses. This explores the intersectionality of gender and religion. Both women are devout and steadfast in their beliefs, and also really respect their parents, so it is an internal battle between their heart and their religion and parents. It ends up that Nasira falls in love with one of the men her parents pick, and Rochel falls in love with a man Nasira suggested to her matchmaker. In this situation, the end is happy because they fall in love, but what would have happened if they hadn't? Would these strong women have ultimately given in and married someone they didn't love? Rochel tells her mom repeatedly that she refuses to "settle," but would the family pressure have been so intense that she would have? How do arranged marriages infringe upon women's independence, and how do women reconcile this?
This movie was set in the present (it was made in 2007), in the secular society of New York. What new challanges has secular society posed to arranged marriages and the women in them? Now women are surrounded by a society that approaches love and marriage far differently. Rochel does have a period when she is unsure whether she wants to stay in her Jewish community, and goes and visits her cousin who left the community, which also meant leaving her family. Rochel ultimately returns to her family, but the temptation must be much greater for women facing arranged marriages in the present than how it was hundreds of years ago, when everyone in a society would have arranged marraiges.

Gender in the Leonard Center

The Macalester Media Collective puts out occasional magazines centered around an issue or two that doesn’t get much press or attention elsewhere on campus. I sometimes glance at it, sometimes don’t, but this time it was entitled “Wither Gender? Saunesty in the ‘Nard Center.” Pretty much anything claiming to address gender grabs my attention and so I picked it up and threw it in my bag. Later I sat down to read it, and it is a bit disjointed, but it’s discussion of gender, particularly around the saunas, at the Leonard center was interesting. There is two short articles about the gendered spacing of the saunas, and one interview about the genderedness of the Center as a whole.
In discussing the sauna, they also touch on the gendered differences between the locker rooms. The men’s locker room has a big open shower room, while the girls has individual stalls. Someone also decided to put two separate saunas in the two locker rooms, rather than one mixed-gender sauna available. I understand that Macalester, especially at a bureaucratic level, is often not nearly as progressive as we’d like to think, but still, the separation of the saunas is interesting.
There is an interview between a guy and a girl at the Leonard center discussing their view of the gendered nature of the Leonard center. The girl talks about how the Leonard center is intimidating, and how there never seems to be girls there, and if there are, they are always on upright machines, like the treadmills. They guy talks about how it’s “sort of exhilarating to become just another guy in gym shorts,” and how he feels and unspoken bonding between any guys who happen to be working out at the same time. The girl said she wants to be ignored, and when she does go to the Leonard center she wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.
After reading this is asked one of my friends, who works out much more than me, if she felt the same way. She totally agreed, and said the reason why she never went to the Leonard Center was because she felt uncomfortable and like an intruder. She thought that a big part of this was the vast amount of weight-lifting machines that seemed inherently more masculine than the treadmills.
I don’t know if any of this can be changed, but it is something that I never thought about since I am only ever in the Leonard center for my Social Dance class, which is not gendered in the same way. There is not really anyone to blame for the gendering of this space, except perhaps society and therefore everyone/no one, but the blatant separation of genders and different treatment of the genders as evidenced by the differently constructed locker rooms surly contributes to these attitudes.

Greek Men Against Sexual Assault

The local newspaper in Laramie, WY, the Laramie Boomerang, had an article today entitled “One Mile: Men Sport Heels to Raise Awareness of Sexual Assault.” The group Greek Men Against Sexual Assault hosted the “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” for the second year to raise awareness and money for the local SAFE Project. The President of Greek Men Against Sexual Assault, Ryan Foristal, said “a lot of us know it’s a men’s issue when it comes to sexual assault, and we just felt that helping out SAFE by wearing high heels would be a pretty unique way to do local philanthropy.” The walk raised $2,334 dollars this year.
This is quite wonderful for a couple of reasons. First, it is important that Greek men are taking a stance against sexual assault, because fraternities and frat parties are one of the places on college campuses where the most sexual assaults happen. Having allies within these groups can drastically improve the attitudes toward women. It is also quite impressive of them to acknowledge that sexual assault is a men’s issue. Even though it obviously is, women have historically been the main advocates against it, and historically women have been blamed for sexual assault and the men were never a part of the equation.
Getting men involved in fraternities on board is a particularly important step, because they are the ones that can talk to their friends, and their friends will listen to them. Burly football players may not be as likely to listen to a group of women against sexual assault, but if their friend brings it up casually that is where real change and understanding can happen.
The location is also interesting. Wyoming is not exactly regarded as the most liberal of states, and Laramie is the town of the horrible Matthew Shepard murder, which does not give Laramie a history of anti-sexual violence work.

Female Suicide Bomber

CNN had a story about a suicide bomber who wounded 5. The perpetrator was a woman. The headline reads, “Female Suicide Bomber Wounds 5 In Iraq.” Wounding 5 people is important, and a big deal, but if the perpetrator was a man, it probably wouldn’t have been on the front page of the website. Maybe if five people were killed, because suicide bombing is still a fascinating occurrence to Westerners, but probably not if there were no casualties. At a time when hundreds if not thousands of people are killed every day in a variety of gruesome ways, five people being wounded is not terribly earth-shattering. Saying “Female bomber” is an example of othering; a male suicide bomber is just a suicide bomber, but a female suicide bomber must is specifically a female suicide bomber. Police ended up killing her as she exploded her vest.
I think the reason why this was front-page worthy is because most readers are more horrified at a female suicide bomber, because women are supposed to be kind and caring and nurturing, not destructive. It seems that women suicide bombers are less common than males, but, in the article it says that more there have been more than 30 cases of female suicide bombers so far this year, showing that it is not uncommon.
The Earth, a British news source, has a more detailed story about the woman, explaining that there have been increased warnings about female suicide bombers, because they can pass by easier since Islamic law prevents guards from touching women while searching them.
This suggests that female suicide bombers seem are taking advantage of cultural gender norms to infiltrate places that men would have difficulty entering. If instances like this continue to happen, will traditional Islamic law be reevaluated or reinterpreted to allow for women to be searched more thoroughly? Will they find some alternative possibility, such as employing more female guards who could search women without breaking as much with cultural norms?

Article about Transgender kids

In the November 2008 issue of The Atlantic there was an extensive 5-page article title "A Boy's Life" about transgender children. I was impressed by the thoroughness of the article. It discussed various viewpoints concerning transgender kids, from doctors in the Netherlands who first started giving puberty-blocking hormones to pre-teens, to a therapist in Canada who works with families to get their kids to identify with their birth gender. It’s tough, because with kids it’s hard to tell. When I was younger I wanted to be a boy, almost all of my friends were boys, I dressed mostly in boyish clothes and was proud when someone asked me if I was a boy or a girl. But, in middle school and then in highschool I started acting more “girlish,” and I so completely love being a woman I could not imagine anything different. But, if I had been asked at age 11 whether I would want puberty-blocking hormones, I might have said yes. Maybe not, but it would be a possibility. I cannot imagine growing up as a boy, though. My femininity is so sacred and wonderful and beautiful to me, I would not change anything about it for the world.
Many kids go through similar phases, and sometimes it is difficult to tell whether the child is gay, transgender, or just more comfortable acting like the opposite sex at that point in their life. Thus, there is quite a bit of discussion about what is best to do for children. Many parents are pretty adamant about letting their child go to school and act like the opposite sex in every way, while others try therapy to “fix” the “problem.” For “truly” transgender people, the earlier they can be comfortable identifying with their inner gender, the easier it will be for them to be socially accepted. But, overly encouraging kids who act like the other sex and offering puberty-blocking hormones can even further confuse the child.
The article interviewed mostly the parents of transgender children, but also various therapists and scholars in the field, and I think it is a pretty comprehensive article which discusses the different attitudes toward transgender children.